Damn Cancer ~ Who Said You Could Take So Many!!!

I have been overwhelmed with sadness the past couple days and really was unsure why.

I realized today (June 24th) that it is the one year anniversary of my dear friend, Velena's death. Velena was an amazing friend and spirit, and I miss her daily. There is no way that I can completely share all that she was or even begin to describe her incredible smile, contagious laugh, great sense of humor, her southern drawl, her love for animal print, bright colors and long fingernails! She was definitely one of a kind!

Velena and I became friends while working together in telecom. Even after our company closed its doors in TX, and laid off 900 of the best telecom workers in the industry, we stayed in contact. She and I were very close and we helped each other through some extremely tough times - as we both raised boys, alone, as single moms. She made me laugh at myself when I took things too seriously, helped me analyze things to figure out an answer to a problem and she always was there to share a good story, big smile, silly dance to loud music and another view.

Her life had taken a wonderful turn for the better, just before she got sick. She had moved back to her home town and called me to share her news of her engagement to a childhood sweetheart! (If you new V like I did, you would understand why this was such amazing news!) After returning to home from her honeymoon, she got very sick. Thinking it was food poisoning and concerned about her jaundice coloring, her husband took her to the hospital. She was diagnosed with liver cancer! She underwent surgery and they removed 70% of her liver! Amazingly she recovered and was tougher than ever!! She became a pillar of faith, sang for her church, focused her life on family and God.

I worried immediately when I heard CANCER but when it was liver cancer, I worried even more! I remember Kathleen (Kameron's Paternal Grandmother) had battled breast cancer but was eventually taken from us when it spread to her liver (before she turned 40)...And it happened very, very, very fast. So, 'cancer' never has been a word I felt very optomistic about and of all the cancers a person can get...liver cancer is the LAST one I would want it to be!!!

Velena fought hard a long though. She surprised me and inspired me, each time I would talk to her and hear about her plans to open a resale shop ('La-Tee-Dah' was her name for the shop, which was perfectly V) or about a prayer corner she was setting up, or about the grandbaby she was excited to meet...She talked as if tomorrow would always come and that we would always have a chance to catch up!!!!

Many times I shook as I called her, listening to the phone ring...worried that I may get bad news when it was answered...but each time, I hung up after speaking with her feeling uplifted, proud and confident that she may just beat this!!! Last June my phone was ruined (a pink phone was surely attractive to my baby girl...who meant no harm when she dunked it into the fountain). I lost Velena's number with the phone...so only had email to connect with her (which never had been optimal, as she did not get on the computer often and even less often took time to write - she was a talker, not a typer!) I hadn't heard from V in a while so I got concerned, always feared in the back of my mind that it was a bad sign...I emailed some others that were close to her to get an update and her phone number...

Here is what I recieved back from one of the girls...

"You may get multiple responses from various people. Velena passed away on Tuesday June 24th from the liver cancer. I hadn't heard anything from her since February and contacted her sister around the middle of June to ask about her myself. Her friend Kay gave me an update that she probably only had 2 to 3 months to live before she went down there over the weekend of June 21-22. They had started taking "comfort measures" with her and she wasn't eating or drinking. Kay said she was out of her head a bit and thought everyone was trying to poisoning her. They ended up putting her in the hospital over that weekend while she was down there. The doctor came in on Saturday and said she probably only had 45 to 52 hours to live.
I apologize for not saying anything to you. It happened all of a sudden and we had to make arrangements to go down to the funeral. I know her sister was contacting as many people as she could and passing on the information to as many of her friends as she could."

Oh no! Not at all what I wanted to hear, but had half way expected. I missed her funeral and was devestated! I was 17 days late sending out my inquiry email to others! I grieve today as if it were yesterday. I hate that I missed saying good-bye, I would have gone to her services for sure or traveled down to be with her those last days!!! It's been hard this past year, missing her and feeling bad for not knowing til after the fact! I can't tell you how many times I have wished I could call her and tell her a funny story, special memory that hit me or heard a song that made me think of her and our friendship. She was an amazing spirit and wonderful friend. She was so witty & charming, fun & loving, caring and gentle. I am so blessed to have known her.

Velena Irene Taylor
Velena Irene Taylor, 43, of Orange, passed away, Tuesday, June 24, 2008, at St. Mary’s Hospital in Port Arthur. Funeral service will be 10:00 a.m., Friday, the 27th at First United Pentecostal Church in Orange. Velena was born August 15, 1964, in Orange, to David William and Helen Marie (Jackson) Clark.Velena was a member of and played the keyboard for the First Pentecostal Church Choir. She was preceded in death by her father, David Clark.She is survived by her husband, Steven Taylor; her mother, Helen Clark; grandmother, Una Pearl Jackson; son, Aaron Keith Arpin and wife Victoria of Deweyville, and their daughter, Faith Elizabeth Arpin; son, David Hodges and wife Jackie and their children, Braden and Courtney; daughter, Tina Hodges and her children, Cody and Shelby; brother, David Lee Clark and wife Theresa; and sister, Darlene Williams and husband Phillip and numerous nieces and nephews.

Damn Cancer!

There has to be an end to your destruction soon. You have taken too many, too young!