Today I am missing so many special people that I have lost. Some from illness, others from tragic unexpected accidents, some from life’s paths taking us different directions, some that I chose to walk away from in a self preservation effort and some that have walked away from me for reasons only they fully know.
My heart hurts. I am not good with loss. I guess no one really is. I am not sure why some days it hits me so hard. Mostly it’s experiencing another loss that throws me back into the depths of sadness. Other days it can be a song playing unexpectedly that has some overwhelming extremely heartfelt memories in it. I go back to yesterday so quickly and wish I could just experience a few more moments with that special person.
VA – how I wish I could hear your laugh, see your smile and hug you. I loved your super charged energy and zest that made everyday an adventure. I miss you terribly. Cancer sucks!
KL – your sweetness and acceptance was amazing to me. You truly treasured me and my son, it hurts that he never knew you. Cancer again, sucks!
KM – you helped me to hear the music in the music. You helped me to appreciate the simply life and sitting down to just be. You taught me that family ties are stronger than any other.
BB – your little life ended way too soon. My heart grieves over the dreams that you never lived out. I will never understand why God takes babies and children from their mothers.
MH– never fully understood the fade that happened and wish I had recovered from it very differently than I did. I wish we would have talked more about what was happening in our lives because I believe we would have been able to help each other.
JP– you challenged me and made me think. You never let me get away with any thought without consideration of why I had it. I loved the back and forth debating and banter.
BJ – For the lasting memories that I carry with me for the rest of my life. I look back on much of it with a bit of a blur – it came and went so quickly but lasted so long. How I wish I had at some point had really known you completely. So much of YOU was edited out ahead of time.
TC – Growing up happened too fast for you, then there was loss. I often wish I could have been stronger for you or known how to better help. It's devestating to me that your decisions to avoid difficult situations have also taken you away from the treasures and rewards those challenges brought.
MB – My kids would have adored you. I am so proud of you – your strength, your character, your giving nature, your faith.
KC – to the child that grew up much too fast. I didn’t realize how quickly it was happening and wish I would have savored more. I am sorry I took my eye off the ball for a while and lost focus and the closeness we once had.
I hope each of you knows how very much I have loved you. Each of you have been significant to me and helped me to find myself in the whirlwind of life. I wish I had more time with you to show you that I was paying attention and learned from you.
No comments:
Post a Comment