I have been so bad about updating my blog this past week. Things seemed so overwhelming and I just could not sit and recount the events regularly. Let me just sum it up by saying that the next week was another trying, testing and scary time. Kam was having severe panic attacks and a few nights was in fear for his life. He believed that gang members were in the hospital that had something to do with his high school friends murders! (2 MNHS kids were killed upon walking into a robbery at a friends aunts house - 4 total were slain and it was a devastating event for our town, our kids and the families of those lost). He was panicked and crying - begged to leave and pleaded with staff to move him to where he was safe. He banged on doors to get out, pounded on windows, yelled at staff, cried and called me hysterical. It was awful to know he was so fearful and had no way to leave or to understand that his mind was playing games. (No one matched the description of the person he said was watching him).
I continued to travel the 2 hour path down the highway to see him and Mom stayed by my side thru it all. Spring Break trip plans were cancelled, meds were adjusted and more time passed. And at last I visited one night and there was MY KAMERON!!! He reappeared and was really ready to get out of there!!! The doctor held on to him to ensure that he maintained stable for 2 more days. During this time Kam became very hopeless again - this time feeling trapped and imprisoned. We were told release could be 'tomorrow' so many times that we all began to hate TOMORROW always being out of reach!!
At last 2 weeks after being admitted and 16 days after coming to me initially with request for help - he was released and able to move to TREATMENT!!!! But now all the beds were full at the facility we had planned for him to go and they expected only a couple, if any, to open up later that day. Centers are on a first come-first served basis and so Mom and I teamed up again to get Kameron where he NEEDED to be.
With 2 hours drive and an unknown wait time at hospital for discharge - we worried that openings would be filled before we even had Kameron with us!!! So Mom agreed to go to treatment center and to represent Kam in the lobby and to make sure that any incoming patients formed a line BEHIND her :) Neither or us could bare the thought of Kam being turned away at this point. Mom waited and we texted back in forth with updates. I have to say that my Mom is the absolute BEST partner and team mate that I could have ever asked for. She's my greatest allie in this world.
She waited for hours in one place while I waited for hours at the other. When at last Kameron came around the corner of the lobby, I cried uncontrollably. It felt so good to know he was finally going to treatment and that the hell of this psychiatric hospital stay was over. We held hands and walked through the parking lot in the sunshine and laughed as we talked about how this felt so unreal. We hugged and thanked each other and God for all that was behind us.
We stopped at Whataburger for some JUNK FOOD with high calories and high fat!! He gobbled down a big burger, fries and a shake as if he hadn't seen food in months. It was comforting to see my boy EAT again and to have back a healthy appetite. Its always made me feel good to see my kids eat well - it shows they are healthy and relaxed and its awesome to watch them get their fill and nourishment.
We arrived - at last - to treatment!!! Kam was happy, content and felt safe at last!! Mom and I toured again with him and met with staff during his admittance. We hugged him hard, told him how proud we were and how very much he is loved. Then we left him in the good hands of God and treatment.
He called me that night to say "thank you!" All I could do was cry. Thanks be to God for my amazing son and for his journey to recovery that is NOW finally beginning!!
"...we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3-4
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