Taking Steps & Making Progress

It's been so long since I've updated this...wow!  Those that know me already know the updates as I live my life as an open book.  But I also feel a sense to keep this blog updated so that if you just stumble across or meet me later in the 'story' that you can also be up to speed.  Not so sure why it matters to me other than that this is MY blog and MY STORY so I don't really want gaps or big holes running through it.  Those that know me ALSO know that I am big on details and try not to leave any out.

Well lots to tell - let me sum up...(in essence of time, not to diminish the experiences or events, I am bullet pointing the BIG stuff...I may elaborate some later as I see relevant or that I have been shown evidence that it was actually a turning point.)

• Kameron successfully completed treatment!
• Kameron hooked up with old 'friends' and relapsed a short time later
• He now lives with my parents of which I highly urged them all to avoid for so many reasons
• I have begun to focus on me - no longer willing to let anything or anyone steal my peace.

At first, I began attending Alanon online - mostly because I loved the family sessions while Kam was in treatment.  I thought the 12 step program for addicts was amazing.  I loved how they were taught to exam things deeply and to take a look closer at their responsibilities, powerlessness and need for God.  I loved the growth I saw in so many and believed that we all actually could benefit by going through a 12 step program to learn more about ourselves.  So I got involved.  At first online, then I began to make time for face to face meetings...there is a quiet suffering that happens when you learn and grow alone.  We are intended to have fellowship so I felt a strong pull to GO and be a part in person.

I also began to attend Celebrate Recovery - a Christ Centered 12 Step group that eliminates the 'higher power' vague term and puts GOD at the helm, where He should be.  I began to work my own 12 steps to heal from hurts, habits and hangups that I have been carrying around for years.  This is where I began to explore more my relationship with God...if I were going to 'let go & let God' then it was of utmost importance that I know HIM personally.  I could not hand over such precious people and parts over to HIM to care for if I did not fully trust HIM.  This lead me to begin attending church again.  We (me and the littles) went back to a church I had loved before marrying (which I left because it did not suit my husband). 

I also received a suggestion from a very dear friend to check out a new church in town.  She had a friendship with one of the guys helping to plant the church.  At first I listened online to their sermons, to get a feel without committing.  The timing and the message were perfect.  It took some adjusting to get to their services but until I could get there, I waited each week eagerly for the new audio posting to get plugged in again.  Finally I attended and now it feels like home.

At this moment, I feel I have come so far!!!  While there is a LOT of stress and turmoil around me in relation to family...I am amazingly peaceful and calm. So, I am now committing to write on a more regular basis again because there is a great amount of GOOD to share and this is the stuff that really matters.  I am learning that there is so much more to life than I have been living.  I am making great progress - not out for perfection...just progress & thanks for grace...that's exactly what God is looking for in me too!!