Stuffing the 'Stuff'

Today I spent some time on clutter & stuff. Amazing what comes out when you talk with a friend in passing about a possible garage sale!!! Thank God today my girlfriend was upbeat, motivated and ready to kick my butt!!! She wouldn't take no for an answer when it came to a brisk walk (beginning form of exercise!!). She pushed me a bit hard to walk & talk with her about what it is that is holding me back to be in better shape. I at first played dumb..."Well, I just don't know? I eat right, better than most people I know..I am constantly on the move...I understand and value nutrition, balance and healthy living...I even work hard to teach my children, family & friends about being healthy, I am focused on removing all forms of unhealthy from my life too"?!? At first I decided that I have a physical aliment, that the primary symptom is weight gain & that has yet to be properly diagnosed (more tests pending). But the more I talked, the more I realized that I am holding on to 'stuff' and dealing with it means going through some pain, sadness, sweat and being uncomfortable.

Our discussion moved to letting go of the 'stuff', which turned our more psychological discussion into more concrete and tangible 'stuff'. She wants to have a garage sale to clear out some of her 'stuff'. I am always up for a profit and can find things easily to part with...so I was all in. As I started looking around at things I realized that most of the stuff that NEEDS to go are things that I am holding out of obligation. (Either the real owner didn't have a place for it, hadn't taken it yet, had given to me as a gift or wanted to discard it themselves but couldn't bare with the fact that it would be 'discarded' so they passed it my way). I have countless items that fall into the OBLIGATION category. My friend and I turned back on the psychology light as we began to try to ask...

why am I carrying everyone else's 'stuff' ??

And what would happen if I just stopped.

So much of what makes me feel out of place, overwhelmed or stressed -

DOESN'T EVEN BELONG TO ME!!!

Since I am the ultimate WORD GIRL - I love the sound, meaning and history behind words...so I looked up "obligation" to see if I could figure out more why I have a sense of obligation to this 'stuff'. As I searched 'Wikipedia' I learned that obligation is closely related to 'duty'. While obligation is a requirement to take some course of action, duty is more of a sense of moral commitment to someone or something. The 'duty' behind an obligation is what drives us into action, and less about passive feelings or mere recognition. I learned too that duty motivated obligatory actions can also be used to describe 'owing'. We all know how awful it is to feel as if you OWE someone...almost as bad as being in DEBT, but that is exactly what it is...the next word is debt.

So as I try to make sense out of this I see that this is the path Duty - Obligation - Owing - Debt. UGH!!!! Ick!!! I have worked so hard NOT to have DEBT. I have been so outspoken about how credit cards and other debt can rob you of happiness, freedom and life. ("The borrower is slave to the lender" - Proverbs 22:7 - it makes a slave/master relationship). Now I am putting myself into that same situation...it just has to stop.

I realized too that by holding things out of obligation that I am robbing myself of having the things I really do need and want!!! So, my plan for tomorrow...to take steps to sort, return, give away, recycle, sell or trash some of this debt. It doesn't mean that I don't value the relationship with the person tied to the item (owner or giver) - instead it means that I am freeing myself to have a better relationship with them. A relationship that is not tied to 'stuff' but instead, is focused on - what I am to them, what they are to me, memories we have shared, acts of love they have shown...those are the real motivators to me anyways. Time to move the 'stuff' (also meaning 'matter', I looked it up!).

I am letting go of stuff that just doesn't matter!!!!