Tattle Tale

I am so thankful for the support, encouragement and prayers as a result of my writing about my son here.  Part of me worries that someday when things are better again, he will be very angry that I shared such personal information.  Part of me thinks he will revert back to that little boy that used to get so angry when he would sass back to me and I would call Grandpa as a punishment!  He used to get so upset with me that I 'told on' him when he did things he wasn't proud of.  What he forgot to notice was that when he did the more numerous amounts of GREAT things, I also called and 'told on' him to Grandpa!  Kameron has always been the most special part of my life.  His life has always been a gift to me, having him at such a young age meant that mostly I parented by trial and error.  I knew what my parents did that I did NOT want to do, I knew what I saw other parents do that I always kind of envied - but I didn't really know what worked and what didn't, what would have good long term effects to help raise a morale and good person and which things would undermine this by making him feel embarrassed, discouraged or that I was disappointed in him.  We learned as we went along and he helped to raise me too.  One thing I have always been most proud of was that we are so very close.  We were more like friends or brother and sister than mom & son.  He was my buddy, my dinner mate, my travel companion, my friend.  I was his confidant, his fashion advisor and his cheerleader.  We consulted each other on everything and shared more than most as we fought against the odds life handed us as such a young family.  He always amazed me at how incredibly smart he was and I can clearly recall when I began to fear that he may just surpass his Mama...and figure out that I did not actually know it all!!!  :)

Well, Kameron - if someday down the road you read this...Please know that I am in NO WAY 'telling on' you.  I am instead sharing our story of this most difficult time in hopes that it will help others to understand why it is so important to me that they pray for you.  I considered at first keeping this very personal information to myself but I felt a very strong push encouraging me to reach out to others and to allow them to support us, love us and pray with us.  I knew this was probably going to be the biggest challenge of our lives and I knew that I could in no way do enough on my own to fix it.  As you well know, I definitely do not know it all, so needed encouragement, suggestions, and the power that comes in numbers.  I have asked everyone to pray for you and the amount of prayers are countless at this point!  I am only one person and if I prayed all day long (which I might add - I am!), I cannot get the message through loud enough.  This is your life, Honey and I cannot risk being the only one that is asking God to help you.  So I am depending on everyone and anyone that I know to cry out with me.  You are my most precious child and it is out of love that I share.  I hope you will understand that when the time comes and that you will thank me for doing this because it brought you back to us safe and for good.  And I promise you, my love, when that day comes...I will be shouting from the rooftops and sharing again our story as I 'tell on' you for beating the demons, fighting the fight and for regaining control over your life.  I will be 'telling on' your amazing strength, your unstoppable determination and your winning spirit that never gave up and dealt with every single tiny detail of this pain until you WON!!!  I will go back to when I was your cheerleader and will be jumping for joy and celebrating WITH you!!!!

I love you Kameron.  I love you so very very very much.  Fight that fight with all your might!  Be strong, be courageous and be ALIVE!!!!

With all my heart, with all that I am - I am so proud of you and thankful for each and every second of your life.  Thank you for being my gift and for sharing your good and bad with me, my son and my friend. 

Mom